I want to talk to you about how my life used to be. To be candid with you about why I do what I do today.
There was a time when I use to push my emotions down, it felt like I was 'stuffing them with food, as if I had to fill an ‘empty hole’ in my belly. I used to pick food off plates, delve into cereal packets for a handful of the munchies inside and going back for third helpings was not unusual. I would shovel morsels in secretly, gobbling down quickly for fear of being found out. Of course, I could see what I was doing and guilt and shame lingered in the air once the self flagellation followed an eating episode, however small.
At times food hardly touched my lips, I felt consumed by the ‘monster’ inside of me, pulling the strings on my flaccid arms as it put another bite into my gaping mouth, then another and another. I was inebriated, handcuffed and dominated by food and eating.
I was also driven however, to find a solution, the ‘key’ to this ‘suffering’. I needed to stop the reason for the behaviour in the first place.
I hate to admit this but the journey to salvation cost me thousands, such was my refusal to leave any stone unturned. I still scour and research the world searching to bring more tools to my work...to bring to you in return. But for now I have the right balance of my own experience, covered enough bases to say that I am an expert in the behaviour of overeating. I am not talking about degrees in medicine, private nutritional qualifications, I am talking about a wealth of personal knowledge, experimenting with different processes and studying with mentors in the field of emotional eating.
I have now shifted that BS that had me hypnotically reaching for the food in the first place. I have finally cleared what was really eating me.
Transforming from ‘food hell’ a few years ago was the point my life began to change. I set myself up as a therapist helping others who I knew had experience of similar issues but despite trying could find nothing to really shift the urge to ‘use’ food. I am not saying it has been a straight forward line, in fact recovering from food issues can be a bit messy. Without food as my crutch, I had to look at some emotional scars, I had to move away from ‘victim’ state, take responsibility and (this is the hard bit) ‘grow up’.
But it was worth it, worth waking up and feeling free of self sabotage and an inner critical voice telling me I am fat and ugly, I am no longer a slave to the 'addiction'.
It is possible to take a different path, to go deeper and heal that part calling out to you.
Are you ready to turn a corner in your journey?